


Starbucks Christmas Blend

by ermengarde



Series: Coffee Boy [4]
Category: Bandom, GlamRPF, My Chemical Romance, Tommy Ratliff (Musician), mcratliff
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-25
Updated: 2011-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 03:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermengarde/pseuds/ermengarde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, it's December, which means holiday shopping, which, okay, Tommy hasn’t really believed in the whole Christmas thing since he was a kid, but who doesn't fucking like presents?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starbucks Christmas Blend

**Author's Note:**

> In the same universe as[ Living in the Pocket](http://archiveofourown.org/works/285045), [The Care and Socialization of Hermits](http://archiveofourown.org/works/299271), and [Fucking with Gender Norms and Sticking it to the Man](http://archiveofourown.org/works/301017), where Isaac's filling in the time while he's waiting for Adam to get on with releasing some new stuff by drumming for My Chemical Romance and Tommy's filling in the time by getting coffee for Gerard and Mikey Way.
> 
>  
> 
> ~

So, it's, like, December, which means holiday shopping, which, okay, Tommy hasn’t really believed in the whole Christmas thing since he was a kid, but who doesn't fucking like presents? And who fucking cares that, like, half his friends are atheist or Jewish or fucking members of the flying spaghetti monster thing. It's December, there are holidays and holidays mean gifts.

He's got some money now, anyways, and there are new babies in the family, so, yeah, shopping (it is much, _much_ easier to throw money at the problem of what the fuck to get his sister than it ever was to spend nine hundred hours on the phone to his mom asking questions and trying to, like, _guess_ what ten buck gift would work). He's not entirely sure if he's, like, in a gift-giving place with the _My Chem_ guys, but he figures that he's not going to go wrong if he gives them Starbucks gift baskets or something so he puts them on his list (yes, he has a list. There's an app for it and it beats the hell out of forgetting someone. Tommy does not ever need to see that disappointed expression on anyone's face, ever again, and the thought of seeing that expression on _Gerard's_ face? Yeah. No).

He's not totally sure that they _do_ Starbucks gift baskets but he's totally fucking going to look and see when he's doing his mall run; it's not like he won't need to stop and refuel himself there anyway (fucking holiday fucking shopping. He needs to stop listening to people (Adam) when they try to persuade him that internet shopping is killing local retail business. Mikey was fucking right when he muttered something about malls not being local anyway)... and he's developed a bit of an unhealthy dependence on, like, Grande mocha lattes, which is entirely down to the Way brothers, but it's not like there isn't a Starbucks in every single city he's ever visited, ever, so he thinks he'll fucking cope. Plus he's pretty sure that if he's ever somewhere where he can't locate one that he can just fucking text Mikey and use Mikey's unnatural Starbucks-homing skills by remote or some shit.  
Mikey is like some kind of Starbucks savant.

 

The mall is hell on fucking earth, full of screaming kids and screaming parents and harassed _dicks_ who keep pushing past Tommy and bruising the fuck outta him with all their fucking bags and parcels. It _does_ have a wrapping station, though, so he drops off all of the shit he’s bought his mom and sister and shit, checks that they can, like, assemble gift baskets out of a bag of stuff, and he heads back into the seething mass of humanity.  
He’s pretty sure that there’s, like, not enough air in the mall, that he’s suffocating or something, because the Starbuck’s sign is like a shining beacon of hope, green and white light pulling him towards the coffee-scented sanctuary. Of course, when he finally battles his way through the crowds, it’s got a line like God’s doing in-person autographs at the other end, but at least it’s moving, there’s a Grande mocha latte with his name on it as a reward for standing in it, and he has to walk past all the gift shit while he’s waiting, so, he can, like, multitask.

The Bearista bear is…kinda adorable. He can kinda see Gerard cuddling it and anyway, Gerard’s got a kid who might like it and so does Frankie so he grabs a couple, but then he sees the plush puppy and Frank’s fucking _obsessed_ with his dogs so he swaps one of the bears out. Plush toys will, like, totally fill up a basket and make them look generous.  
He gets Ray and Mikey hoodies, to, like bulk up their gift instead of the plushies, but then Gerard likes hoodies, too, so he just gets four of them and then they all need reusable coffee mugs (better for the environment and shit) and Starbucks have these travel coffee press mugs that look fucking _awesome_ and tour bus coffee sucks ass, so he gets four of them and, like, a shit load of different kinds of coffee and flavored syrup and sauces and he can maybe bulk up Mikey’s gift with, like, extra coffee (he grabs a bunch of the instant shit…it’s not the same as brewed but it’s better than anything Tommy’s ever fucking picked up at a gas station, so), but Ray’s more of a normal person and his gift’s still going to look a bit, like, shit compared with everyone else’s… and then Tommy sees this, like, fucking state of the art coffee maker and he can totally get a sign that says _No Mikey, Ray only, No Distractions_ or something to stick on it, so he picks that up, too.  
Right as he’s handing over all his shit to the barista (who is fucking _laughing_ at him, buying all this stuff) he sees these, like, cup tree ornaments – like, the little red Christmas cup and the little white one with the cardboard sleeve on - to hang up. They’re fucking awesome, in a totally fucking shit way. Maybe he can get those baskets with handles and then they can, like, tie the little cups to hang off of that or some shit.

Of course, his arms are totally fucking full of all the fucking Starbucks merch he’s just bought, so he can’t fucking manage to carry all of that _and_ his coffee, which totally fucking sucks, but then he’s going to have to wait while the wrapping people make up his baskets, so it’s not like he doesn’t have the time to spend, waiting on line _again_. By the time he gets back around to the front of the line, all of the good muffins are gone. The guys better fucking like their baskets.

 

Gerard calls Tommy just as he’s _nearly_ gotten out of the parking lot – it’s not like he’s fucking moving so it’s perfectly fucking safe to use his cell – and asks if he’s coming down to the practice space today. Tommy hadn’t figured on it, but Gerard starts coming up with an increasingly weird list of reasons why Tommy shouldn’t go home just yet and should totally drive _past_ his house and come and hang with everyone. Tommy starts giggling when Gerard says that he thinks that Ray really needs Tommy to come and show him how to play some riff (because, seriously? Ray Toro is fucking amazing, the only thing Tommy needs to show him is how to put on eyeliner) and he’s got tears streaming down his face by the time that Gerard starts talking about how they _really_ need Tommy to come and be their elf. He just about manages to gasp out that he’s on his way before he _finally_ manages to get out of the fucking lot and hangs up his cell.

Tommy figures it out when he’s pulling up in the lot next to the practice space – this is probably the last time everyone’s going to be together before the holidays. He and Isaac are going to China to play with Adam – fucking _lead guitar, bitches_ \- and everyone will be scattering across the country to celebrate at home or with loved ones while they’re over there. He grins. Gerard totally wanted to get everyone together for Christmas and Tommy’s totally fucking got presents for everyone.

 

Everyone’s got presents for Tommy, too.

He’s not _entirely_ sure why Frank thought he’d need a, like, all in one cat ears and paws thing, but it’ll probably keep him warm and apparently Gerard’s got one just the same so they can be twins.

Mikey gives him Starbucks gift cards in fourteen different currencies, including Yuan, and directions to the store nearest the hotel they’re going to be staying at. Tommy kinda loves MikeyWay.

Ray and Gerard give him, like, a billion box sets of geeky sci-fi stuff so he can _catch up_. It’ll probably be quite nice to understand what the fuck everyone’s talking about when they start referencing shit.

Everyone seems to like their baskets (Isaac makes big sad eyes at him, but he's just going to have to fucking _wait_ like a big boy) - Ray's already gotten his coffee maker plugged in and is mostly keeping Mikey away from it by throwing packets of coffee at him and Frankie's _possibly_ trying to cheer Isaac up by making his plush puppy attack him. Either that or he's just attacking him...

Going by the expression on Gerard’s face, his daughter is _never_ going to be able to get Gerard to let go of his bear.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Starbucks Christmas Blend](https://archiveofourown.org/works/663378) by [dapatty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapatty/pseuds/dapatty)




End file.
